


It's a Fun Surprise!

by RoseApothecary



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Boys In Love, Fair Rides, M/M, Post-Season/Series 05, References to David Bowie, So much eating, Surprises, only love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2020-03-14 16:26:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18951766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RoseApothecary/pseuds/RoseApothecary
Summary: Patrick has a surprise for David.David is really good at being whiny.Just two cute boys being adorable.Why are they the most adorable?





	It's a Fun Surprise!

**Author's Note:**

> *There are references to major events in season 5. So maybe don't read on if you don't want some spoilers?
> 
> *This has been stuck in my head for two days so I finally put it down today!
> 
> *I take credit for any and all mistakes.

“David come on!”

“I don’t know if I should,” David whined. 

“It’s going to be a fun surprise. Don’t make me ruin the surprise,” Patrick was using the tone David liked to call his ‘patient dad voice’.

“Ok, yes. But the last time you surprised me I had to hike like an hour through the woods and you were impaled with a stick.” David grimaces as he remembers the stick and lack of first aid kit.

“I think that surprise ended pretty well,” Patrick grins.

“Yeesssss. It did end well,” he glances down at his beautiful rings and smiles. “Except that in the photos we took I ended up looking like a troll doll.”

Patrick laughs. “A troll doll?”

“Yes a troll doll! My hair was all crazy like when you shake those stupid dolls and their hair goes in every direction. Why didn’t you tell me I had troll doll hair in our photos?!”

“Well maybe it’s because I was hoping you were turning into a troll doll. I was going to look for the little gem on your tummy.”

“Uh huh. You think you’re being cute, but this is actually working for me. Do you want to look for it right now?” David shimmy dances closer to Patrick.

“Listen. If I promise to tell you if you get troll doll hair will you just hurry up and throw a sweater on so we can leave? Trust me, you’re going to love my surprise.” Patrick plants a quick chaste kiss to David’s lips. 

“ Okay, first of all, I’ve never just ‘thrown a sweater on’ so you might have to give me a minute, or or, five… and second, I do trust you.” David places his hands on Patrick’s shoulders and squeezes before giving in to look for a sweater.

*

Patrick had figured David’s little freak out into his plans so he knew they were right on schedule. He also figured in all of David’s ‘are we there yets’ into the drive so he just chuckled every time David whined about something new.

“Paaatttrrriiick, you didn’t tell me we were going to be in the car for over an hour! Why didn’t you stop for snacks?”

“David, we ate breakfast an hour before we left!”

“Nooo, it was like an hour and 45 minutes before we left because we had that whole conversation about the surprise and then I had to find a sweater for some…. whatever-activity or what not that you won’t tell me about. How can I be expected to dress for an occasion I know nothing about? And since we’ve been in the car for over an hour I haven’t eaten in like three hours. Three hours Patrick!”

“Oh nooo. You poor famished thing. Do you think you’re gonna make it?” Patrick chuckled.

“You’re making fun of me. Rude. And no. I am not going to make it,” David sighed. “You couldn’t have just brought some licorice…,” he muttered to the passenger window. Patrick just laughed again and reached over to join their hands on the center console.

“We really are almost there. About 30 more minutes.”

“Fine. But this surprise better include lunch.” He reclined his seat and closed his eyes to ignore his hunger, but he kept a tight grip on Patrick’s hand. David eventually dozed off and Patrick pulled his slightly numb hand back to shake out the tingles while sneaking looks at his fiancé’s relaxed face.

“David,” Patrick said quietly while gently brushing a hand down the side of his face. “David, open your eyes.”

“Hmmm?” His eyes fluttered open. They were still on the road, but they were creeping along in a line of cars. “Are we there yet?” He asked more curious than whiny this time.

“Yes, David, we’re here. We just have to make our way through the entrance and park. I thought you’d like to see this part.”

“What part?”

“Look our your window.” David had only just kept his eyes peeked open at Patrick because even when he napped he woke up hard and usually cranky if he was honest. Patrick’s patience with all of his nonsense made it so he tried harder to not be a dick when he awoke.

David moved his seat into the normal upright position and craned his neck to look out the window at whatever ‘surprise’ Patrick thought driving nearly two hours was worth. He sucked in a sharp breath and his eyes lit up darting to everything he saw out his window. He whipped his head over to Patrick with one of his rare, full, white teeth smiles and then back again toward the window. He looked between Patrick and the window four times before Patrick brought his hand to David’s neck to rub at the short fine hairs there. “ Don’t give yourself whiplash, David,” Patrick chuckled.

David looked at Patrick again and his eyes were damp. “We’re at the fair! There’s a big light up thing. I can see the Ferris wheel!”

“So it’s an okay surprise? Was it worth me starving you for a few hours?” Patrick’s eyes were full of glee.

But David didn’t want to joke right now. This meant a lot to him. He said very quietly, “I’ve never done this before. Like… never.”

Patrick’s face twisted into a mix of shock, disbelief, and sadness. “ You’ve never been to a fair?!” 

“No. I, uh… never. I remember wanting to go once when I was like 8 and Alexis was around 3. My parents said they’d take us when they got back from their trip but they were gone for like 5 weeks and the fair had moved on long before they were back. I never asked again. Adelina tried taking us to Disneyland Paris once, but I threw up on the train and refused to wear the hideous Mickey Mouse sweatshirt she had in her bag so we just got on a return train at the next stop. Pretty sure Alexis has never forgiven me for that.”

Now Patrick’s eyes were misty. “David. If I’d known this would mean so much to you I wouldn’t have… I would have…” He didn’t know what he would have done differently, actually. He probably would have still wanted to make this a surprise for David. “I’m happy you like the surprise,” he finally gets out.

“I love it,” David whispers.

They’ve been slowly inching forward during their revelatory conversation and they’ve finally made it up to the little booth. Patrick pays for their admission and parking sticker and then follows the directions of the people in orange vests directing them to park. Patrick smoothly pulls into their directed space and puts the car in park.

It’s a warm, bright, sunny afternoon and David puts on his sunglasses as they get out of the car.

David doesn’t want to complain, but it was really sunny and he didn’t expect to be outside. His regular moisturizer only contains spf 15 and he knows he’ll burn without more protection. “Um, I wish I had known we were going to be outside. I would have used a stronger sunblock.”

Patrick just chuckled and popped the trunk. He pulled out a small bag and handed it to David. Inside David found the sunblock that he loved along with a lip balm that contained spf. “I know you, David. Do you really think I’d ruin the surprise by letting you burn to a crisp?”

“Well you almost ruined it by nearly letting me die from lack of food on the car ride, so…” Their banter was one of the things Patrick loved the most about their relationship.

David finished with the sunblock and lip balm and tossed the bag back into the trunk. He smiled another full, bright smile at Patrick and leaned back against the car and pulled Patrick in by the waist. “Thank you.”

“For what?” Their exchange feels vaguely familiar, but Patrick can’t place it.

“For loving me enough to surprise me with a trip to the fair. And for packing sunscreen…. And…” David trails off and Patrick can see a blush rising on his cheeks.

“And…?”

“You’re gonna make me actually say it? Fine…. And for putting up with me and my whining and my impatience and just my general attitude… about most things.”

“I happen to love your general attitude about most things.” Patrick leans fully into David, and presses a warm firm kiss to his lips. “And I happen to love YOU all the time.” Patrick pulls away before David can deepen the kiss and David drops his head to Patrick’s collarbone and groans. 

“I want you, too, David. But not on the back of my car while a parking lot full of people watch us.”

“Hasn’t stopped me before.”

“I definitely don’t doubt that,” Patrick laughs. “But what if I told you that there are like 50 different food trucks just waiting for you to choose which one you want for lunch?”

“Okay, that’ll do it,” David says pushing himself off the back of the car and trying to very subtly rearrange himself. “But you should know that I’ll probably want something from at least 30 of those trucks.”

“I figured as much.”

They leave the parking lot hand in hand and head in the direction of the lights and smells and sounds.

*

“Why did you let me eat so much?” David is holding his stomach with one hand and a half-eaten cinnamon sugar thing smothered in chocolate with the other. What was that called again? A hedgehog leg? A squirrel face? Well, whatever it was called it’s delicious and he’s planning on powering through. 

“Let you?! David, I tried to slow you down after the onion rings, Polish sausage, pizza, caramel apple, and fried cheese!”

“Okay, well I only ordered the fried cheese because they made me remember our first date and I thought you were so cute and nervous in your blazer.”

“I remember you not even knowing that it was a date.”

“Um, I knew. It just took me a minute.”

“You were very cute, too, in your lightning bolt sweater.” David’s eyes went wide like he was just slapped. 

“What? I liked that sweater…” Patrick trailed off.

“Nothing. You just, you just re- remembered what I was wearing. And I like that. A lot.” David looks down and tries to manage his emotions because even though this is very sweet, they’re standing next to a Beaver Tail (that’s what they’re called!) stand in the middle of the fair and he doesn’t need anyone to watch him cry about a sweater. He keeps looking down when he says, “You’re just really good to me. And, and I love you a lot. And I love that you remembered my sweater.”

“I love you a lot, too.” Patrick removes the beaver tail from David’s hand, takes a bite, and throws the rest in the trash. David tries to look offended, but seriously he’s SO FULL. “How about we walk around the 4-H booths while you let your stomach settle?”

“What’s 4-H?” David asks seriously and Patrick just laughs as they head toward the booths full of handmade quilts and blue-ribbon pies and paintings made by elementary school kids.

“Okay, so do you want to look at the animals now?” Patrick asks once they’ve walked through all of the craft booths and once David has a small packet of cinnamon almonds to crunch on. 

David just gives him a dirty look. “Uh, unless that’s super high on your fair to-do list I’d much rather skip the gross farm animals. That’s way too many smells.”

Patrick just laughs like he knew that’s exactly what David was going to say, and squeezes David’s hand so he knows that anything he wants today is fine with Patrick. “No animals then. How about games? Or rides?”

“Can I take my almonds on the rides?” David looks between the almonds and Patrick.

“Games first then,” Patrick does his best to clamp down a chuckle and steers them toward the midway.

The lights and sounds are almost overwhelming for David. There are flashing lights surrounding almost every game, loud buzzers, carnies shouting out to passersby, brightly colored balloons, a few water squirty games, and the general din of the crowd. David holds Patrick’s hand a bit tighter, almost as though he’s 8 years old and afraid of getting lost from the one person he knows here. Patrick sneaks a peek at David when he’s distracted by something and realizes that even though they talked about it this is an entirely new experience for David. Patrick suddenly feels extremely protective of David and he wants him to have everything he’s never known he wanted or needed. He brings their joined hands to his lips and kisses David’s knuckles.

“David? Wanna try this game first?” Patrick leads him to a booth that has softballs sitting on the front ledge. Behind the ledge on a counter are three small milk jugs stacked into a pyramid on a pedestal. David definitely understands the premise of the game and definitely has no desire to play. 

“How about I just watch YOU play this one?” David smiles and stands aside to give Patrick space to throw. He watches Patrick pay the man and pick up the first of two balls. Patrick pulls back his arm and expertly knocks all three clean off the pedestal. The worker-man rings a cowbell and shouts ‘WINNER! WINNER!’ The man leans toward Patrick and tells him to choose one of the larger prizes hanging from the top of the booth.

“David? Which one do you want?” Patrick asks and David’s eyes light up like it’s Christmakkuh all over again. David chooses the black and white panda bear, because of course he does, and snuggles it to his chest with one arm while his ringed hand snakes it’s way around Patrick’s waist. The big, open, toothy smile is back on David’s face and he isn’t even trying to hide it.

They wander the midway until David sees a game that he wants to try. Patrick exchanges a $5 bill for $5 worth of quarters. They each place a quarter on a color and the game-lady hands a small ball to a little boy. The boy throws the ball into the center grid with the coordinating colors from the outside ledge and it bounces around until it finally lands on yellow. Ew, who picks yellow David wants to know. He very sensibly chose white. Patrick had chosen blue. The game-lady collects all the quarters from the loser colors and then announces the next round. They play without winning until they’re down to their last two quarters. David once again picks white and Patrick chooses navy. A little girl tosses the ball into the grid and it dances around until it’s spinning between two colors. Finally the ball teeters away from tan and falls into white. “WHITE! WHITE IS THE WINNER!” the game-lady shrieks into her microphone. David is beyond pleased that he finally won something to give to Patrick… until he sees the face of the little girl who threw the ball. Her quarter sits before her on tan and David suddenly has a strange feeling. He looks at the girl and he looks at Patrick. Patrick knows. Patrick always knows. So David does the only thing he can really think of doing. He leans down to the little girl and asks her if she wouldn’t mind please picking out a prize because he just doesn’t have enough room at his house for him to take more than one thing home. He gestures to his panda and then looks up at the prizes with her. She whispers to David and points to one. David tells the game-lady he wants the tan dog with the dark brown spot around its eye. The lady hands it to David who immediately hands it to the girl. The little girl clutches it to her chest, much like David did with his panda, and whispers thank you as she walks away with her mom.

David looks at Patrick and sees something he can’t place. Love, yes, but also a fondness or something Patrick knows that David doesn’t even realize? “What? I was just trying to be a good person. She was going to cry. I don’t like the sound of kids crying.”

“Uh huh. Sure David.” And Patrick pulls him close for a tender kiss right there in the middle of the midway. “And just so you know,” when they break apart, “you’re definitely a nice person.” Patrick gives him a quick kiss to his temple, grabs his hand, and pulls him to the ticket counter.

Patrick buys enough ride tickets for them to go on a few rides each. He’s pretty sure David will want to skip anything that spins or goes very fast, especially since he’s still stuffed with half the food at the fair. They walk hand in hand to the rides, David still taking in all the sights and sounds. Now that it’s getting darker the lights look almost magical.

They pass a ride called Gravitron and David looks at Patrick with panic in his eyes. Patrick chuckles, “I don’t think you’re ready for that one. But maybe you’d like The Viking?” They walk up to a ride that looks like a giant pirate ship. “It only goes back and forth. Like a giant swing.” David looks a little unsure but mumbles ‘okay’ as Patrick leads them into the line. They wait until it’s their turn to board and sit in a row with two other people. The attendant comes by and lowers the lap bar while David is looking around for a seatbelt. 

“Um, I think this row is missing the seatbelt,” David whispers nervously to Patrick. 

“No, there’s no seatbelt, David. Just the lap bar. Don’t worry, you’ll be fine.” And David doesn’t have time to worry about not being fine because now the ride is starting to move. It’s slow at first and David is actually a little bored – until it starts to really pick up momentum. David’s eyes go wide as he clutches his panda with one hand and the lap bar with the other. Patrick reaches over to place one hand on top of David’s while raising his other hand in the air like some kind of lunatic. David squeezes his eyes shut against the feeling of his stomach dropping out from under him each time the ship swings back down. Patrick whoops and hollers and David wants to tell him that he sounds like one of the carnies but his voice was somehow lost on the last upswing and they’re heading back down again. Finally, the ride starts to slow and David manages to peek one eye open. He sees his fiancé with big, bright eyes and a giant adrenaline fueled smile plastered to his face. Patrick’s hair is all rumpled and adorable the way it looks when he first wakes up or after being thoroughly fucked. David digs into his pocket for his phone while the ship is coming to a stop and snaps a few pictures of Patrick. He wants to have a memento of the way Patrick looks right now that he can actually share with people. Obviously, he can’t share the photos he takes of Patrick in their bed. Those he keeps locked away on his phone just for himself.

“Did you love it?!” Patrick is so happy in this moment that David doesn’t have the heart to tell him he’ll never be riding that death trap again.

“I love that you loved it.” And he silences any more questions about the stupid ship with a kiss heated with thoughts of Patrick’s messy hair in their bed. When David lets him go he says, “Maybe I can pick the next ride?” Patrick just looks at him like he’d say yes to anything at this point. 

They walk around until David stops suddenly and then is almost jumping up and down from excitement. “Bumper cars! Look Patrick!” Patrick looks at David with that fond smile he saves just for him. “I didn’t know those were a real thing. I thought they were just in movies or whatever…” he trails off when he realizes he sounds like an idiot. But Patrick doesn’t look at him like he thinks he’s an idiot and so he’s a little less embarrassed when they head to the bumper car line. 

Mostly, the line is filled with kids under 10 and their parents, but either David doesn’t care or he doesn’t notice (probably the latter) and he waits almost patiently for their turn. Once Patrick hands the attendant their tickets they head in to find cars. David wants one that isn’t all scuffed up and he finds a relatively shiny green car. He tries to not think about the green. Patrick just sits down in the first one he comes to. It’s all scratched up and it’s purple and David thinks Patrick looks so ridiculous folded into the tiny car that he pulls out his phone again to take a picture, not realizing that he must also look ridiculous folded into his car with his even longer legs. Patrick snaps a picture back and David flips him off while smiling. The ride buzzes and their cars are released from being dormant. They slam around the area for four minutes, laughing, and trying to hit each other as much as possible. When the ride ends David grabs his panda and meets Patrick at the ride exit. 

“Come here, I need to tell you something,” Patrick leads him around to the side of the ride where there are less people.

“Um, okay?”

“First, I love you more than anything in the world.” David blushes beautifully at the admission. “And second… I don’t think your hair products were tested on giant pirate ships or bumper cars. It’s definitely verging into troll doll territory,” Patrick teases as he reaches a hand up to David’s hair to try and rescue what’s happened to it. It’s falling over to one side with little pieces going in ways that were definitely not planned.

“Ugh. Okay. Is there a bathroom here?” David’s eyes start darting around looking for a sign.

“Yep, just over here,” and Patrick leads them to the restrooms. David hands Patrick his panda before he heads inside and is in for about 9 seconds before he’s practically running back out to Patrick. 

“Nope. Nope. No. No. No. NO! I will never say this again, but I don’t even care what my hair looks like. That bathroom smells like the Bog of Eternal Stench. David Bowie would be proud. But just no.” He takes his panda back and presses it to his nose to block the memory of the smell.

Patrick laughs at the man he loves and squeezes him into a huge hug. “I wish you knew how gorgeous you look right now, all disheveled and freaking out about the bathrooms and… David Bowie?”

“Um, I will have you know that Labyrinth is a treasure and David Bowie was one of my first crushes. How could you not love him in those tight pants and eyeliner?!” David leans into Patrick and whispers close to his ear, “Your Cabaret eyeliner really did it for me.”

Patrick groans and has to take a deep calming breath. “You do realize that we’re at the FAIR and it’s really UNfair of you to do this to me here.”

“Do what? Tell my fiancé just how much I want him? How much he drives me crazy with his cute little button downs and belted jeans? How much I think about him when he’s not around? It’s like a stalkerish amount, by the way. Like, you’d probably be afraid if you knew just how much I think about you,” David blushes again at that admission but he manages to hold Patrick’s gaze because Patrick is looking at him like he’s the best thing in the entire world and there’s nothing David wouldn’t do to see that look.

“Come with me.” Patrick pulls David’s hand and leads him through the throng of people. Did more people materialize? Was it this busy before? They end up in a line and David doesn’t really know or care what it’s for because he can’t stop looking at his beautiful fiancé. They slowly inch forward until David realizes that Patrick is handing someone their last tickets and then pulling him along again. “Get in, David.” Patrick presses his hand to the small of David’s back and something warm and melty settles around his heart. He could never put into words what all the small touches do to him or what he would do for them to never stop. 

Suddenly, they’re moving. “Oh!” David lets out a little yelp that immediately embarrasses him, but his excuse is swallowed by Patrick’s mouth on his. Desperate, hot, and searching. David opens his mouth to give Patrick’s tongue the access it’s begging for and they kiss like it’s the only thing keeping them alive. David’s hands are everywhere on Patrick and it’s still not enough. Why can’t he have twelve hands?! He fists one into Patrick’s hair while the other explores his neck, chest, stomach. Patrick moves to kiss down David’s jawline to his neck and lick a hot stripe all the way to his collarbone and back up before nipping behind his ear. “You are the most gorgeous man. I want you.”

David makes a little mewing noise that is not sexy but he just can’t control himself when Patrick’s voice lowers an octave and he says things in his ear. He’s so hard and he knows that all they can do on this ride is make out for a couple minutes. Oh yeah, they’re on a ride David suddenly remembers. David opens his eyes to make sure he’s not giving anyone a free show and tries to swallow a shriek. “What the fuck?!” He can see the entire fair. They’re very, very high up and he’s not sure he likes it at all. But also he kind of does because Patrick is pressing into him and trying to sneak a hand under his sweater.

“I know you don’t like heights, but I won’t let anything happen to you. I’ll always take care of you,” Patrick murmurs as he tries to kiss David’s neck again. David’s eyes tear without his permission and he tries to take a deep breath that actually sounds more like he just ran five miles. How is it possible that Patrick can so easily say these things to him and expect him to be okay?

“Hold on, I just need…” David isn’t sure what he needs. He needs Patrick. He always needs Patrick. “I want…”

“What David?”

“I j-j-just want… I w-want that. I want you to take care of me. I want it. I like you saying it and I want it so fucking bad.”

“I know, David. I know you do… You know that I’d do anything for you, right? Literally anything. Anything you asked of me I would do it. Because I want to take care of you. I want to take you to fairs and watch you eat yourself into a food coma. I want to see you be a nice person to a little girl. I want you to be whiny when I say I have a surprise for you. I want everything – with you. Everything, David.”

And of course David is properly crying right now and twisting one of the four gold rings on his left hand because he wants all that crap too. Patrick is just better at saying it. 

The ride is slowing down now and they’re going to have to get off and look like they weren’t about to devour each other whole at the top of the fucking Ferris wheel. They do their best to smooth out their clothes and brush each other’s hair back into place. David wipes his tears on his sweater sleeve. They fail miserably at fixing each other’s hair, but neither one cares that much. David grabs his panda and Patrick’s hand and they stumble out the exit line. 

“You know I love you, right? Even though I don’t say it as much as you do?” David asks when they’re able to find an empty bench to sit down at.

“I know it, David. And I hope you know that I really will always take care of you.” Patrick raises David’s left hand to his lips and kisses David’s ring finger.

*  
David falls asleep five minutes into the ride home, his panda bear sandwiched between his head and Patrick’s arm and Patrick is one hundred percent sure he’s never been happier in his entire life.


End file.
